Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
