in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
