she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
