That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
