my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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