I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
