Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
