dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
