...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
a search helicopter?!
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
