dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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