Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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