i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Who died my cat blue again?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
