On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
