I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
