and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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