i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
