When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
