Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
