we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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