I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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