Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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