he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
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