A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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