I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
