Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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