Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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