highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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