My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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