party gras won. party gras always wins.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
