my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
