Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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