Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
