there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
