Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
