Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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