you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
