u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Just puked most of my soul out..
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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