i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
