I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
