I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
