biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
