is your mom at the bar?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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