I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize
