He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
