I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
