Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
