The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
