Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
