Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
