he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
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