You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
