just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Randomize
