Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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