im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
They took my balls.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
50% drunk capacity currently
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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