Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
