I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
