I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
