Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
